Another Mother’s Day.

It’s a good day, the celebration of mothers. Goodness knows moms deserve a little celebration at least once in a while.

But,

So too it can be a painful day, for those of us without mothers here anymore.

It’s a day flooded with pictures and anecdotes and praise and “the best mom evers” and “number one moms” or whatever else can fit on a mug, and the list goes on.

Which is all wonderful and beautiful and well deserved.

But painful.

I know, or at least I am told, that someday the pain will lessen into something not quite so raw.

But I’m not there yet.

Still now nothing quite takes my breath away like the constant reminder that all those “mom” things,

Those wonderful mother daughter things,

She and I will never do again.

I will never bring her flowers or give her a gift, we won’t sit down to brunch or get our nails done, and there are now no more deep conversations while out for a run.

Any well deserved words of praise for her I put on social media,

She’ll never read.

I now navigate the “celebration of mothers,”

Without the reason for which we are celebrating.

It’s hard.

Raw pain or “accepted” pain I know I will forever wish that she was here with me still, walking through life beside me as she always did.

Encouraging me and loving me like only a mother can do.

But for now,

For now, mom, I will celebrate all you meant and mean to me. I will honor you memory by sharing you with my children and anyone who will listen.

I will try and walk in a way you would be proud of, and I will try and show Jesus in all the ways you showed me.

And someday, someday we’ll celebrate Mother’s Day again together ❤️

(They do that in Heaven, right? Celebrate Mother’s Day? I mean, surely they’ve got to look for reasons to have cake up there too.)