5 Ways to Successfully Survive Quarantine (According to a 4.5 Year Old)

1)
Bake all the things. Start each day off by begging your mom to please please please let you bake something. Anything will do: cookies, muffins, donuts, etc. When she finally caves, the important piece here is to finish the fun part and leave immediately. Then tell your mom to let you know just as soon as the food is ready so you can come back and eat it. Also, she definitely doesn’t need help with dishes.

donuts

2)
Do all the crafts. This should follow a similar pattern as outlined above. Make sure she gets everything out and prepped and ready to go, then decide you’d rather do something else. But ask mom to finish it for you. Obviously it’s important to finish what you’ve started.

craft

3)
Ask all the questions. Carve out some time in the day to rapid fire some “why” questions. But avoid simple ones like “why is the sky blue” or “where do babies come from.” Stick with important questions like “why did this bad sickness start?” “Who started it?” “Why won’t it go away?” You must continue your education, after all.

4)
Wear all the clothes. Being trapped at home indefinitely requires no less than 27 outfit changes per day. And remember, if it so much as touches your body, it’s dirty. Now you’re also creating more laundry without even leaving the house. Success!

5)
Finally, after all that, mom may need a break. She does seem a little tired these days (though you haven’t any idea why). It’s probably best to take over little sibling duty for a bit to give her a chance to recharge just a little.

sibling takeover

Then rinse and repeat.

Forever.

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