Although time is a cruel mistress, continuing to grow and change everything around it, there is one thing I am thankful for that never changes.
One thing that stands still even as everything around it marches steadily forward.
Those memories of moments past that are cemented in time, forever.
Never changing, even as everything else does.
Whether it’s photos or video recordings or even just moments in time frozen in my head forever.
Those memories can’t be changed or altered and I know they will never be forgotten.
And it’s a small pinprick of light against the dark background to know that as time continues its forward movements that I can call up those memories to help me remember.
I love that the photos and videos that I now hold so dear are only a moment away.
I have never appreciated so much that simple ability to pull out a phone camera and capture a moment forever as I do now.
Because, at least for me, those memories are important.
They are a large piece of what keeps me moving forward.
Although I know that sounds a little silly, looking backward to move forward,
It’s the truth.
When missing my mom gets overwhelming hearing her laugh on an old video helps sooth the ache even just a little.
For just a moment.
To keep me moving forward.
When I cannot fall asleep at night I replay in my head highlights and special moments from over the years.
And although that usually reduces me to a puddle of all different emotions,
I am grateful for the memories.
I am grateful too, that if and when the Mini’s memories start to fade I can help her remember.
Whether it’s stories or pictures, those memories keep a small part of that important person with us.
And that’s it, right? When someone is important and special to us, we move through loss by remembering.
We remember how they laughed.
We remember what they valued.
We remember how they spent their time
Who and what they loved
How they lived.
We remember them.
We talk about them and look at pictures of them and try and hold them in our hearts just a little bit tighter.
We do everything in our power to make sure though they are gone, they are not forgotten.
So too, I work to continue to remember not only my mom, but my Meme.
My sweet Meme left us what feels like forever ago now.
Losing my Meme was the first time in my life where that ache over loss didn’t fade with time.
And as her birthday slips quietly by I remember not just for myself and the great grandchildren she never got to meet, but for everyone who knew her.
For everyone who was given the opportunity to be served a meal by her.
To be loved on by her.
To have known her.
And as I work to comprehend a world where two very important women to me are no longer in it,
I am grateful for the memories I have.
I am grateful that I can show my kids pictures and tell them stories so that while they may never have met her,
They can know who my Meme was.
I am grateful that although my Meme and my dear mother are gone
They will never be forgotten.
Happy Birthday Meme.