…in the first half of my first pregnancy*:

1) Everyone has an opinion. Seriously everyone. Even single, never married, childless people. But sometimes people actually have an opinion that is worth filing away for the future. So resist an eye roll and wait for those worthwhile gems.

2) People cannot help but comment on your weight. However they are not actually trying to be rude when, upon finding out your due date, they ask if you are expecting twins. Just thank them for noticing and go hide in the bathroom while consuming chocolate. It helps.

3) When you respond to someone coming up to touch your stomach while asking
“are you ever going to get tired of people coming up and asking to rub your belly?!?” with
“yes, yes actually I am” while looking them in the eye and backing away, you are probably going to offend said question asker. That’s ok, they won’t hold it against you forever. I don’t think anyways.

4) Not every woman gets that “second wind” in the second trimester. It’s probably worth a trip to the doctor to make sure it isn’t something that needs to be addressed.

5) Speaking of second winds, it’s ok to take a nap instead of doing the dishes. Heck, you’re growing a human. That’s exhausting. Plus, baby doesn’t care if the dishes are clean or not.

6) Be very, very thankful for a hubby who is willing to make dinner or fold the laundry. Even if he doesn’t do it exactly right…

7) While on the subject of dinner, if someone offers to bring you a meal humbly and willingly accept. There is only so many nights you can have a can of soup for dinner before you (or your husband) start to go crazy.

8) Although in the moment it will seem like the obvious and only answer, it is not appropriate to respond to your single, childless, male coworker’s statement of
“uuuuugh I am SO tired, I only got like six hours of sleep last night”
(when you are running off of twoish hours due to being up a thousand times to pee and just not. finding. a. comfortable. position) by stapling them in the middle of the forehead. It is, however, ok to smile politely to the statement, and then fantasize the rest of the day about stapling them in the middle of their forehead.

9) It’s ok to have a second piece of cake. But only once a week. Twice at most. (Ok, maybe three times…)

10) Pregnancy is absolutely the most humbling thing you can do. Because all you want is for that baby to grow strong and healthy, but there really isn’t a thing you can do about it. And trusting that the Lord has a good plan for that baby (no matter what happens) is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do.

*These “lessons” and experiences may not be the case for everyone. I am not claiming to be an expert pregnant woman. If your pregnancy(s) experience was all sunshine and rainbows, please tell me about it. Sometime. Maybe late July. Even early August would probably be best.