“I don’t have enough Twix© in my life.”

“Why do you always say ‘we’ when you do something?”
“I don’t know. Why does a wild bear poop in the woods?”

“I told you it was in there!”
“Yeah. I wasn’t listening to you.”
“Story of my life…”

“It could be worser!”

“If I didn’t have you guys around it would be like losing my left toenail. That’d be awful…”

“Whatcha doing bucko? Well, buck-et.”
*Pause*
“Heh, bucket…”

“When God was handing out brains you thought He said trains and you took the nearest one.”

And that’s all folks.