Happy Wednesday! As promised, here are your weekly laughs (or cringes, we’re flexible here):

“Did you know if you put your contacts in backwards you see where you’ve been instead of where you’re going?”

“Give me a call sometime so I can hang up on you.”

“I knew this really smart dog once. You’d ask him what was on the outside of a tree and he’d say ‘bark, bark!’ He knew baseball really well too. You’d ask him who got all those home runs and he’d say ‘Ruth! Ruth!'”

“I need to start clearing off my desk, gotta make room for those Christmas decorations. They’re coming soon!”
“Might as well just put them up now, right next to your pumpkin…”

“I’m going to name this business ‘My Pet Chicken'” (Really wish I’d heard the rest of that conversation…)

“I’m better looking on the phone.”

(While joining a long line at the printer)
“Is this where the cool people hang out!?”
“Yeah, that’s why I have to leave…”

And I leave you with an adorable picture of my puppy, since I haven’t had enough pictures on here lately, and honestly, why not:

Isn’t he just the cutest thing.